"An Omelet"

They exist separately-Eggs. Potatoes. Cheese, et al.
But just as individuals come together to form a team,
So to do these ingredients come together to become an omelet.

As the cold wind blew outside I sat in the restaurant-warm and content.
Simply enjoying sitting inside, being out of the cold and enjoying my food.
The restaurant was sparsely filled.
Closing time was nearing.
But with fewer customers it made the restaurant not so much less noisy

As easier to hear other’s conversations.

A man and a woman sit in the booth next to me.
They chat about their university classes.
A mom and her child sit at the back wall having a late lunch.
The daughter seems more interested in playing with her food.
Her mother appears preoccupied with something she is reading.

A woman sits alone at a table across from me.
She sits perfectly straight.
Her feet firmly planted on the floor.
She does not look around; neither does she look at her food.
She eats and looks straight ahead.
As if she had an unseen drill sergeant standing over her.

My omelet is warm and the steam rises from it as I cut into it.
The potatoes spill out with the cheese oozing out slowly over them.
As I pull the omelet apart small round and clear clusters fall out.
They look like cut up onions.
It lies in front of me-cut in half.
Like a gutted animal lying on my plate.
Its sides are beefy and full with meat and vegetables.
Just as an animal carcass may lie on the ground.
Split open, warm, steam rising from the incision in its belly.
Its organs and entrails lying on the ground.
I see ham, potatoes, onions.
Cheese drips from the incision I’ve made in the center instead of blood.

I look at the omelet for a moment.
As I smell the ingredients-the cheese, potatoes, ham and eggs
My mouth begins to salivate anticipating how it will taste.
As if I were the hunter who just killed a deer I dig into the omelet heartily.
It doesn’t stand a chance as I devour it.
As I sit there and eat I wonder if anyone is aware
Of how I’ve attacked the defenseless omelet.

As I finish my meal I notice that one by one each table finishes its meal
And leaves the restaurant.
Spilling out into the world to go about their business.
Like the contents of my omelet that spilled out when I cut into it.
The people go out.
The restaurant having been the protection from the elements.
Sheltering us like the hide of a deer protects its insides.
Just as the deer meat is taken from it and used to nourish us.
We take it in and go forth.
Just as we must now leave the protection of the restaurant.
We become part of a new life to nourish others.
Family, friends, new conversations another story.
Just as our food was taken in and became part of us.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

"The Sun"

As Juliet was the sun to Romeo so to was my love to me.
With her love I was continually surrounded by light.
Awash in the warm glow of sunshine that was her smile.
As the sun gave warmth to the world so did she to me.
Her eyes, her mouth, her hair, her face-everything about her warmed my heart.
She would forever be more beautiful to me than any other woman.
Her smile would warm my heart on the coldest of February mornings.
She made my life warm and gave me reason to live.
When her arms embraced me it was as the Summer Sun in the afternoon.
Warm, hot and brilliant.
But as the sun may set each day and allow the night to cool the earth,
My sun, my love did not set.
Whether we were together or apart she was always high in my sky and kept me warm.

Knowing she loved me kept me warm.
Thoughts of her embrace made me smile.
And knowing that we’d be together again-hopefully soon-and embrace kept me smiling.
Seeing her would make my heart skip.
I would hesitate for a moment upon seeing her.
But only for a moment as she took my breath away each time I saw her.
I was overcome by her beauty and her glow that made me stop to admire her.
Each time I saw her.
Every time I saw her.

I would come to her and hold her.
And be held by her.
I’d not let her go.
Not wanting to let her go.
She warmed me with her embrace.
She made me joyous when she smiled at me.
And because she smiled when she was with me.

But that was the summer of our love.
Now the winter has arrived and I have missed the fall.
Her smiles and love sustained me through the fall.
But now it has become cold and dark.

The winter of our love has arrived.
And it has announced itself by the cold winds that blow around me.
There is an icy-cold in the air when we talk.
And a darkness that surrounds us when we are together.

As you turn away from me, the sun sets.
Night falls.
The glowing, warm and beautiful sun has left me.
I am surrounded by darkness and cold.
Only the memories of her warmth, her beauty, her love remain with me.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

“A Man”

I have become what I thought I would not.
What I never expected has come to be.
What I never wanted is what I’ve become.
Cold, distant, quiet, unfeeling, alone.
That is what I appear to be on the outside.
Like my father and his before him.
A man.

Growing up I would say to myself that I would not become him.
I would not be like him.
I would be different.
But my years have flown bye.
And whether it has been the experience, the difficulties.
The failures or the solitude.
I have become him.

The exterior appears calm, even cold.
I appear unfeeling and uncaring.
Oblivious or uninterested in others and in the world.

My interior is alive!
Coursing with energy.
My brain is active.
Thinking of all the possibilities.
My heart wanting to be hopeful.
Open to what could be.

But when we meet.
When my interior meets the exterior.
It is speechless.
It looks as it as if it were just a shell.
That’s not who I am.
That’s not what I want others to see or to think of me.
But it is too late.
I have become him.
A man.

Tuesday October 23rd, 2007

“The Stone”

I have no where that I am accepted.
Even alone with only my thoughts there is nothing but self-doubt and loneliness.
My heart is heavy within my chest.
Before it was if it never existed.
Merely a mechanism.
Pushing blood through my body.
I ignored it.

Now my heart is heavy.
It aches for what it lost.
For what it does not have.
For what it wants and what it needs.

It lies in the middle of my chest just as a stone on the bottom of a lake.
Holding me down in the cold and wet darkness of the winter water.
That water surrounds me.
And the darkness overwhelms me.
I no longer know where I end and it begins.

I look out on to the bottom of the lake.
The dirt floor goes on past where I can see.
Despair-like the floor-surrounds me.
It encompasses me to the point where I have no hope.

The water around and above me is as my depression, my despair.
It pushes down upon me with such force that I cannot move.
I sit on the bottom hoping the water will crush me.
That I will dissolve into the water.
And it will sweep me away, as if I’ve never been.

Tuesday October 23rd, 2007

“The Feather”

As the sun sets and the darkness falls,
So do the hopes and dreams of the earnest and tender hearted.
Awaiting a thought, a call, a note from their beloved!

But as the morning dawns a new day is born.
A new chance to find love or to renew what has been lost.
Or to throw oneself into the wind, the world of torment.

Love once given away…is it lost?
Like a feather floated on to the breeze of a windy Fall day?
For what hopes, what chance does my love have of ever finding that feather?
What chance do I have of ever finding her again?

She is warm, kind and protective.
With her love I was strong.
I was able to persevere against the wind.
Without her I have become like the new born child.
Unable to protect myself.
Thinking only of of my heart which is broken.
Not wanting to go on.

Even in my dreams she is as elusive as she is beautiful.
Like catching the rays of the new born sun in the morning..
I can hold her no longer.
She slips through my hands…
To warm another’s heart.

October 21, 2007

Nature Thoughts

I walked in the glenn and saw three little trees growing.

I imagined being on a lake. and having a boat for rowing.

The October wind brings me back to reality as it's cold wind is blowing.

But I console myself with the knowledge that at least it's not snowing!

Not yet anyway

Thursday October 23, 2008