Maple Syrup-The Next Crystal Meth?

Maple Syrup Addiction-March 2010

So the word on the street is that there’s a “hot” shipment of pure
Canadian “Snow” coming down from the Northern Ontario region across the bridge later this week. Everyone is talking about how this stuff will simply blow your mind-not to mention your taste buds! And for anyone who doesn’t get it yet who’s reading this-I’m not talking about drugs-I’m talking about maple syrup!

So allegedly Canadian maple syrup is the best anywhere on earth! I have a friend and co-worker who attest to this and who was born and raised in the land of the Maple Leaf! It’s supposed to be like pure sugar but better. A liquid golden fluid that drips so sweetly from the bottle and your mouth absorbs it before it gets to your stomach. The sweetness causes your mouth to somehow water while you taste it and your eyes dilate and your breathing and heart slows as if you were on a narcotic.

Imagine if this syrup were illegal and indeed did need to be smuggled in to the country. Instead of the USA looking to the south for the drug war we’d have a new drug war! The border to the North would be guarded and there would be talk of a huge fence and wall to be built across the northern territories of Wyoming, North Dakota and Minnesota! Imagine seeing US Naval ships patrolling the Great Lakes because Canadian smugglers would be coming across Lake Superior, Huron and Erie.

Detox centers we have now would re-open their doors to newly diagnosed diabetics and those trying to inject crystal-syrup into their veins. Imagine iHop as a distribution and delivery point for the “stuff” all across the USA. Imagine how we’d have gone from selling maple syrup in every grocery store across the USA to searching kid’s lockers and getting search warrants to enter homes for the illegal product. People would be passed out on the floor and on couches after eating the flour and egg “delivery-systems” of pancakes and waffles!

Imagine seeing people laying in the streets passed out from ingesting and injecting too much maple into their body. Scoring crystal-syr would be the new way to get high and the new “science-project” that each school kid would be working on in the basement at home!

Your long lost grandma and grandpa up north would be watched by the FBI as suspected drug sellers and distributors! Imagine visiting Kalkaska or Menominee and seeing DEA and FBI agents breaking down doors on a drug bust! Or the heightened state of alert on our side of the border at Portland or Sue Saint Marie here in Michigan!
Certainly this could never happen-right?

Sugary Maple Syrup is just a fun and delicious way to enjoy your breakfast waffles and pancakes. We never have to worry about maple syrup becoming a banned substance. Do we?

iHop
http://www.ihop.com/

Vermont Maple Syrup
http://vermontmaple.org/

Michigan Maple Syrup
http://www.mi-maplesyrup.com/

Wednesday, March 03, 2010